A story of how I doubted and learned the power of faith. I learned this through this through this experience of having my phone and wallet stolen.Though it is hard to accept the hard moments in life. We can keep moving forward and there is always another day. 

having faith in hard moments - mommy and me hug

As I reached into the back stroller pocket at the checkout line I froze. My wallet – gone. My phone – gone. 

I knew after picking up the kids from school we might stop by the local grocery store for a few groceries. And as I had walked into the store I had seen my pink phone case sitting comfortably in the pocket of my stroller. So I knew when they were gone at the checkout line they were not on me anymore.
In a frantic panic I told the checkout lady that I would be right back, ordered my children to stay still, and frantically ran around the store scanning the ground for any sign of my wallet and phone in hopes they would appear. 
But they did not and my heart sank. With my husband in school and a mortgage to pay a new phone wasn’t really realistic. And guys, I live and work on my phone. So it took all of me not to just break down. 
Unfortunately I am not good at hiding my feelings. Anyone who knows me knows that. So the clerks kindly helped me call my phone and calm my kids. A kind man offered the only $10 in his wallet to pay for some of my groceries and as I picked out the milk and bread the clerk kindly looked at me and said, “I’ve got the rest.” My son looked up at me and said, “That was really nice.” To which I replied, “Yes, yes it was.”
I went outside with grocery bags hanging from my stroller looking around for any resemblance of my wallet or phone. My pace quickened, my heart pounded, and with hope I saw my wallet on the ground about a block away from the store.
Just as quick as my hopes had been raised they dropped with the sight of some of my rewards cards laying around the wallet. My ID – gone. My credit cards – gone. I looked all around the grass for my phone and then up at my children. I needed to go home. My children and I were tired. I marched home in rage with my children following behind. Someone had stolen from me. And oh, it made me so angry. 
As I pounded the pavement a thought came to me, “Why is there something that always goes wrong.” I wallowed in all that has not gone my way in the last few months and then I had the thought, “Have faith.” 
I was so angry as I walked. How could I faith? Was a phone going to magically appear? Was I going to stumble on hundreds of dollars so I could go and purchase another phone? I thought how silly all of these possibilities sounded. I did not want to have faith. I wanted my phone, time, and wallet back. 
So I walked on letting my feelings boil until I got the kids home. They were more than happy to watch TV while I grabbed my ipad and looked for my phone. I clicked the “Find My IPhone” app and started to locate the phone. I turned on the “Lost Phone Mode” and waited. The loading circle swirled. Nothing. They had already turned off my phone.
I stopped and took a deep breath. I am not someone who gives up easily. And I knew if I was going to try to try to take care of this there was no one else who could help me more than God. So I stopped and in my heart decided to have faith. 
I walked over to my neighbors with my IPad in had and asked to call my husband. His voice sank my voice became frail. And as we talked about what we would need to do next my husband said, “Your phone is calling me!” We hung up and I waited. 
I glanced at the Ipad and the phone was on and I could see where it was, just a few blocks away from the grocery store I had been. The fury returned and as I debated with my neighbor about going there my husband called back and my phone had been found by some kids. 
In the end we met the kids who had found my phone on the grass and got my phone back. I didn’t get my credit cards or ID back but their lost pales in the thought of losing my phone. 
The boys claimed they did not take the wallet. And I will never know. But what I do know is I got my phone back. Which means I can work and continue to provide for my family without much delay. It also means we don’t have to go further in debt to by a new phone. And I don’t have to spend hours setting up a new phone because I am a genius and do not have my phone backed up. 
having faith in hard moments - mommy and me kiss
Sometimes we don’t find our metaphoric phones. Sometimes we lose things and are stolen from in different symbolic ways throughout our lives. Sometimes life is full of hard moments one after another and it doesn’t feel like you get a break. Sometimes through these moments the only thing we can do is have faith. 
I still haven’t figured out why these moments have to be so hard. Or maybe I have figured it out but I don’t want to accept the fact that life is hard, often. And that we are hurt by others or things often don’t go the way you would like it to. 
I am grateful that this time I was able to find my phone. I know I am lucky. And I know it may not happen again so I better back my phone up. But really, I know that faith is key. And I hope to gain more and more of it.